Last Friday Mr President asked whether he was a bigot, but once he’d decided what today’s post would be about, he was certain that he isn’t. A bigot would have no issue with the hypocrisy he’s about to expose, in fact one could say it’s bigotry that causes the issue at stake. It might not be earth shattering but it is important to him and all of you should know by now what that means.
Textual Relations is founded upon the idea that if something is bothering Mr President, it’s about to bother you, mainly due to him going on about it ad nauseum until you lose the will to live and give in. So buckle up and get ready, you know the drill.
His problem is to do with adverts. It all started with ads for female sanitary products, especially when shown during a mealtime. Yes, there is no way for the TV to know when you’re eating but a lot of people tend to eat at roughly the same time of the day, so it is certainly possible to try and avoid those times. Yet, still, he kept his cool.
After all, he mused, women need these products, so it would seem a good idea to have ads for them, even if the timing could be better. The same logic was applied to ads for other “feminine” products, even when the language (eg “feminine itching”) could be a bit better, or when the pictures seem a little OTT (does a woman really need a diagram to know where a thrush treatment takes effect externally on her own body?)
Yet he draws the line at the latest adverts to do with erectile dysfunction. We don’t allow adverts for condoms (all the while we wonder why the teen pregnancy rate is rising) and yet we do when for Viagra. The ads aren’t even subtle, they show a man taking his wife in a passionate embrace, taking her up to bed while knocking stuff over.
Apparently that’s not offensive or “inappropriate” like two men kissing: