Grumpy Grouch

5 04 2008

Mr President is not happy. Normally he frowns at people referring to themselves in the third person but today he doesn’t care. In fact today he says the first person who has a go at him for doing so, or for anything else for that matter, is likely to wind up on a morgue table with several sharp objects protruding from their corpse. You’ve been warned, don’t come crying to me.

You see yesterday he had a very busy day. A meeting in the late morning meant he didn’t have much time first thing in the morning. He decided you people would be willing to wait for your daily dose of Textual Relations. After all, most of you don’t even read it until the afternoon so you wouldn’t miss it, would you? Clearly not, he sees.

When he returned his computer wasn’t working. This was bad. Very bad. His loyal and faithful army of readers would be wondering where their beloved leader had gone to. When he got back online he’d have a mountain of emails or comments asking where he was. After all, he posts every day, it wouldn’t be like him not to do so, would it?

Yet when he finally managed to resolve the issues not one of you had asked where he was, so naturally he was feeling a little unloved and unappreciated. “Screw you” he thought, and decided you didn’t deserve a healthy slice of Textual Pie (hence no post yesterday) and in fact he considered withdrawing his services entirely. Your loss.

After sleeping on it he decided this was remarkably harsh. After all, only this past Tuesday he did pretend he was giving up blogging forever. So he logs on this morning and decides to give you some juicy goodness. Only to discover that there was nothing interesting in the news. He doesn’t care about Zimbabwe. Nor does he particularly care about Tibet. It all goes back to that old question, “How does this affect me?”.

He doesn’t live in Tibet. Or in Harare. He couldn’t care less what’s happening to people there, that’s their problem, let them deal with it. So what if there’s violence and bloodshed? How does this affect us in our day to day life? Bleeding heart liberals would tell you it does, but it really doesn’t. Ask them if they’d kill their first born children to liberate Tibet and Zimbabwe and see what their answers would be. He knows.

El Presidente, as his legion of spanish adorers call him, hates it when the news is obsessed with stuff like that. He wants to know about interesting stuff, things he can blog about, so that he can tell you what you should be thinking. Yet he didn’t find anything like that. Not to worry, he thought, I’ll cobble something together.

Then he logs onto WordPress.com and sees the new dashboard and set up for the very first time. It does not please him. They say it will take some getting used to, he says he doesn’t want to have to get used to it. He liked the old set up. So what if other people found it complicated? He didn’t, so anyone who did must be stupid, obviously.

Calming himself he does realise that it may be the kind of thing that will grow on him, eventually. Sort of like how a parent grows to love their ginger kids. There are some good things, certainly, he likes the permalink being below the title for easy access, but wonders why the categories were moved from the sidebar next to the editor.

However being fair, he recognises a lot of these gripes are just because they come on top of other things he’s grumpy about. Someone must have gotten out of the wrong side of bed this morning, but don’t tell him that or he’ll likely stab you repeatedly with an ice pick through the skull. Thankfully Stuff White People Like never fails to cheer him up.

PS: He wants to know where the wordcount went in the new WordPress design.


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7 responses

5 04 2008
archaeozoo

At least I’m not the only one who apparently looked at the new dashboard and went ‘what the hell?’. I think I can see where everything is, but then again, I went to approve a comment and ended up in the bowels of – something. I had to go the long way around to get back into the dashboard so that I could find my subscribed blogs. That can’t be right, can it? Surely there must be a shortcut.

5 04 2008
Anonymous

This one wil cheer you up too!

http://bestparentever.com

6 04 2008
somegosoftly

I just got a little sad seeing my new face too. Why can’t they let us have the old one, if we want to keep it. Even lame old yahoo gives me options…

6 04 2008
Mr President

I think the biggest annoyance is that the change is so huge, and we were given no warning, no announcement that changes were in the works, nothing. If they really wanted to roll out a “better” dashboard and make life better for WP.com bloggers surely they should have let WP.com bloggers beta test it. Then we could give feedback.

Another approach might have been to launch it as a “beta” with an ability to, as you say SomeGo, put it back to the old dashboard. Not sure how hard that would be to code, granted, but the lack of consultation really blows. I’m getting used to it somewhat but so far I’m still getting less benefit and more hassle.

Maybe that’ll change with time, who knows?

Anon: Hahaha. That site’s very good. Thanks for the link.

6 04 2008
E For Excellent « Textual Relations

[…] For Excellent 6 04 2008 After yesterday Mr President has decided that writing in the third person is kind of fun. Do be warned that […]

6 04 2008
Andy D

Remember, it could always be worse.

7 04 2008
Mr President

That is true Andy, that is true.

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