Textual’s Take On Spitzer-gate

15 03 2008


Obviously the major news story this week has been Spitzer-gate, and much has been made of the woman at the centre of it all. Now it’s my turn.

No, I don’t mean like that. Plenty of men have clearly had their turn in that way, and I don’t go in for prostitutes. I’m all about fat interns with a penchant for cigars and blue dresses. Hot.

Seriously, people are making way too big a deal out of this “scandal”. This blog’s entire identity is all inspired by a now infamous sex scandal that we all parody and laugh at these days.

Textual Relations, complete with that tagline, my identity as Mr President, my avatar, it’s all inspired by Billy boy and his little fat intern.

Yet none of that seems to have lessened Bill’s popularity and there he is campaigning for his wife, and if she secures the presidency, it will be entirely down to him. Her policies suck!

People have had indiscretions and managed to come back. Hell, Marion Barry came back from a conviction for smoking crack to become mayor of DC again. Seriously, if DC can elect a crackhead mayor, anything can happen in politics.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not Spitzer’s biggest fan. If I can pass the New York Bar exam first time (at 22, no less) there’s really no excuse for anyone else (and that includes Hillary Clinton, who failed the DC Bar). Seriously, how is it people that stupid are allowed to run for office? Michelle Obama failed but got a job at Sidley Austin. It’s an outrage!

Having said that, I don’t see why this scandal should kill off his hopes of a successful political career down the line. Of course he couldn’t go back to being hardline on things like family values, but he could very easily do the whole “To err is human” thing and point out that all great leaders have made mistakes in their personal life.

Unfortunately for Spitzer he lacks the charisma for a successful recovery from this. He was ill-suited to a career in politics. Anyone who thought he could be a future president was forgetting that in order to be a President, you don’t have to be smart, you just have to have charisma. Look at Dubya, not the sharpest tool shed but a great speaker.

Still, I suppose if Spitzer’s career is over at least he can take solace in the fact that it was worth it. I have to give the man kudos, if you’re going to blow your career at least do it for someone relatively hot, and certainly someone hotter than your wife. Granted, Hillary may be rather ugly but what was Bill thinking with Monica Lewinsky?

Personally I think she looks rather hot. Not a stunner but then prostitutes rarely are, most tend to be average at best, and many are plain ugly. Genuinely stunning women tend to get a break, be it modeling or “acting”, because they stand out from the crowd and get noticed. Sure, they need a little luck but the prospect’s always there.

I’ve seen some people say she has a big nose but Spitzer’s Jewish, they dig that.



2 responses

17 03 2008
Andy D

Could this really be? No comments on this one yet? Well, I will take a try at it:

The problem (politically speaking) is that Spitzer went on a crusade against prostitution. He talked about how prostitution destroyed the moral fiber of a community. To then have the public find out he has spent over $80,000 on this ring doesn’t look good.

I really didn’t follow Spitzer that closely. I have pondered the effects on the whole “super-delegate crisis”, but I don’t think it will have much of an effect there either.

17 03 2008
Mr President

I was quite shocked by that myself. Especially given the Jewish remark.

Clearly I was being tongue-in-cheek for most of the piece, and trying to draw a reaction, so I was hugely disappointed when it didn’t. Maybe people are used to my shock tactics by now? Need a new plan!

Yeah, I know Spitzer comes across as a huge hypocrite but let’s face it, all politicians do. Being a hypocrite is pretty much part of their job description, isn’t it? In theory it shouldn’t stop a comeback, so long as he disappears first. Politicians are always doing that.

In practice he’ll face another problem because he also pissed off some major power brokers when he went after Wall Street, so the very people who could help him bounce back want the guy to burn in hell.

Honestly I don’t see it having any long-term effect. It’s practically been forgotten already (which could account for the lack of comments).

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