Something For The Weekend

7 03 2008

At the tail end of last year I read a very interesting piece over on Esquire’s website about the five most disturbing Public Service announcements of all time. Now it’s good, don’t get me wrong, in fact, I urge you to read it, but much as I love Dan (check out his blog for even more goodness) I have to disagree with him. Those aren’t disturbing, they’re great!.

Warning, the following WILL offend. Not may, WILL. You have been warned.

Let’s start where he does, at the beginning, with the anti-smoking one. I’m not going to embed the video because I’m a big believer in being fair, and the article that inspired this post deserves hits from people reading this. Ok, you’ll never buy that, me, fair? The truth is I’m far too lazy to do it, it’s quite fidgety with blogs.

Anyway, enough with the tangent, back to the topic. The anti-smoking video. Watch it, or you won’t get what I’m saying. That’ll apply to everything from hereon in, so you have been warned. Dan says people would quit smoking if they realised it would make them ugly, and I agree, but am I the only one who thinks she looks hot? Granted, like Dan says, she looks like a crypt keeper but I think she pulls it off! I’d totally tap that.

Smoking automatically makes anyone hot, though, so that wasn’t that much of a surprise. Far more interesting was the next video, about human trafficking. I’d always thought it was such a bad thing, people being bought and sold like cargo. Now I see that video and I’m thinking, human trafficking leads not only to lower cost workers but also to women servicing up to forty men a day and being unable to say no? Sounds like a small price to pay for both cheap labour and the perfect woman, it’s win-win.

Having suitably offended everyone reading this (hey, you were warned!) I think the gun control one doesn’t work either. Do you hear that pathetic excuse for language skills being demonstrated by those kids? Heck, if that little boy is dead now and can’t grow up to be like his brother and his friends that’s a good thing. Am I the only one who thinks the mother should have shot up the entire room? We need to cull these people.

Now the girl in the workplace safety video is cute (I can’t be the only one who thinks so, right?) but she’s Canadian and Romi’s scared me off Canadian women for life. Whilst it is a terrible shame that she went and poured a few gallons of boiling hot water on her gorgeous face, it’s probably for the best. If she can’t even clean up at her restaurant how do you expect her to clean up around the house? No, her fiance got off lucky.

As for the safe sex video, how’s that supposed to put you off? It has guns, sex and even a car, what more could you want? Throw in a couple of explosions and you’ve got the perfect movie! I’d pay good money to watch a feature-length version of that. I mean even the end, with the bullet in the condom, that just looks cool! It’d make a great logo.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, can you tell I was suffering a bout of writer’s block this morning? Can ya? To be fair, a lot of these observations were what some sick twisted part of my brain was actually thinking while watching those for the first time (I have a very dry and dark sense of humour…ok, a sick, a sick sense of humour) but the fact I hadn’t posted them until now suggests I knew it was wrong. Oh well, needs must.

Before you get your knickers in a twist and write in complaining, I advise you to read more of the blog and discover that we tend to be a little tongue-in-cheek here at Textual Relations. You don’t have to necessarily have found any of that funny (in fact, you most likely didn’t and found it offensive) but there’s no point in attacking the views expressed as they were facetious. Do, however, feel free to use the opportunity to discuss these highly important issues in the comments, if you wish to do so.



One response

2 05 2008
Something For The Weekend « Textual Relations

[…] For The Weekend 2 05 2008 The last time he used that title for a post Mr President probably alienated the vast majority of his readership so you might think […]

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