As someone who defines himself by his communication skills and style, this test immediately grabbed my attention and was incredibly enjoyable. The results were somewhat surprising, I have to say. I’m sure those of you who read this blog regularly would have expected, as I did, that I would score highest in aggressive. Having said that, assertiveness isn’t a total shock, is it?
Although I’ve always naturally been very reflective and somewhat introspective, I think therapy only heightened this. Where before I would be aware of my flaws but do nothing to really change them, therapy taught me that that’s really only half the battle.
People who say they can’t change are wrong; no matter your age, if there’s something about your personality that you dislike, you can change it, if you want it enough. My aggression was a trait I felt was out of control, so I’ve worked hard to control the beast.
Textual Relations provides a great outlet for me to unleash my more opinionated nature but has, believe it or not, ironically made me less opinionated! The reason for this is probably the intelligent discourse I’ve had with some of you which has taught me the value of remaining open minded, using the ideas of others to add nuance to your own.
9 passive, 12 passive-aggressive, 23 aggressive, 24 assertive
The communication type on which you scored the highest is your dominant style. Of course, we all use each of the four styles at varying points in time, depending upon the circumstances in which we’re involved. Still, the assertive style is the most desirable in any communicator; descriptions of each are as follows:
PASSIVE – The passive person is indirect, anxious, and inhibited. You often do not address problems, and very rarely do you stand up for yourself. Your boundaries are poor, and therefore other people often respond by taking advantage of you or completely ignoring you. Beware, though, because you’re prone to the “pressure cooker effect,” whereby you explode over something seemingly irrelevant.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE – The passive-aggressive person is also indirect, and may even sound passive…at first. However, you are quite hostile in nature, and tend to want to “get even” with those who have wronged you. You do this very sneakily though, drawing as little attention to yourself as possible. You favor manipulation and deception, and would rather tell everyone *else* what is bothering you than the person with whom you actually have a beef. Sarcasm and hostile gestures are also your most common tools of communication.
AGGRESSIVE – The aggressive person is threatening toward others. You’re all about getting your way and being heard — no matter what. You’re frequently loud, demanding, bossy, blaming, and sarcastic. You may get your own way in the end, but it’s usually at the cost of the respect of those around you. You don’t talk to people; you intimidate them into meeting your needs, and have no respect for their boundaries.
ASSERTIVE – The assertive person is confident, clear, and in control. You speak with an even tone, and respect the boundaries of those around you. You try to address problems by offering solutions and working toward compromise whenever possible. You’re able to state your needs without any expectation of their being fulfilled, as you know that ultimately you do not control other people. You are perceived as a threat by the passive-aggressive person, as you are direct, open, and honest. You may be perceived as intimidating to the passive person but more so because he/she wants to be more like you.
|Link: The What Type of Communicator Are You? Test written by inspireme27 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
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