Holy Cow!

6 11 2007

This is quite possibly the funniest news story I have heard all year. A couple were driving down the highway when their minivan was struck by a falling object. They were unhurt but were apparently a mere matter of inches away from instant death. What was the falling object in question? A 600-pound cow.

Unfortunately the cow, which had fallen off a cliff, was not as lucky as the Eversons and had to be euthanised. Always being one to look on the bright side of things though, I wondered if perhaps they had a couple of hamburgers to celebrate. What a great first wedding anniversary story to tell the grandkids too.

I’m a bit worried about the part where the husband claimed he didn’t see the cow falling. Maybe this is just me but if a 600 pound Frieisen decides to go bungee jumping without a rope and smashes straight onto my car bonnet (that’s what we Brits call the hood. Yeah, I know, funny word isn’t it?) I’m going to notice.

Last Saturday my area had Diwali celebrations in preparation for the Hindu festival which is actually this Friday. Given that the cow is a holy symbol in the Hindu religion (yeah, I’ve always found that one a bit odd myself) I wonder how this news may be greeted in India. If you thought the reaction to Danish cartoons was bad you haven’t seen billions of underweight Indians try and hold a riot. They need to eat more cow.


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15 responses

6 11 2007
Jayne d'Arcy

Cows do fall from the sky. Especially if they are on a truck getting transported to a dairy farm. My cousin and his wife were driving behind such a transport about 6 years ago. The truck had the accident just ahead. One cow went flying from the back of the truck and went through the windshield. Art and his wife weren’t as lucky as these folks were. Art received bumps and bruises, but his wife’s face was completely shattered. Nearly 7 hours of surgery (and several following) and her face was repaired. She still has trouble speaking and sometimes stutters when she cannot recall a word. The really terrible thing about this was after this accident, it came out that there had been several such accidents with “flying cows”.

Well, there you go. I just sucked all the laughs out of that story, didn’t I?!

6 11 2007
Mr President

That’s a great public service you provide there. “Destroyer of jokes”. The really worrying thing is that your story, incredibly sad as it is, doesn’t stop me laughing at the one I blogged about. Or the entire phenomenon of “flying cows”. It’s slightly disconcerting that I can disassociate so easily.

7 11 2007
Jayne d'Arcy

I honestly can’t help laughing either and to tell the truth, when we were told about the accident (my aunt jan, said this, word for word, “a flying cow hit art’s wife”) I laughed. It’s absurd.

7 11 2007
Pribek

One more example of shoddy journalism. I have seen several articles about this incident. All refer to the cow as a “falling object”. It’s de-bovinizing and the implication is that the cow is stupid. That it (the object), somehow made a mistake.

No where do I see anybody bringing up the possibility that the cow jumped or was pushed.

There should be an investigation.

7 11 2007
Mr President

I apologise profusely. You’re right, there are big issues at stake here. Such as a lack of proper mental health services provided for suicidal cows. Are our bovine cousins less worthy of proper care? Perhaps all of these so-called “accidents” involving falling cows are actually the work of a serial killer with a predilection for cows? We demand the truth!

7 11 2007
Pribek

Obviously you are a very compassionate person, Mr. President. Treatment programs for suicidal cows should be looked into. Do not make the mistake of being guided purely by emotion though. This is a case where no stone should be left un-turned.

Have you considered the possibility of a hate crime. There are a lot of people in this world who don’t like cows.

I think that the “Eversons” should be looked at with precaution as well.

Everson…..sounds like a made-up name to me.

7 11 2007
Mr President

Now you come to mention it, doesn’t it strike you as convenient that they narrowly escaped harm? If that doesn’t suggest they had something to do with it I don’t know what does. They’d have been hit if they were innocent!

Cowists! Yes, that’s what we have here. This sounds like a perfect candidate for some government spending. Although knowing the Democrats they’ll be pushing a bill to investigate Cowism any day now….

7 11 2007
Pribek

Yes…Yes!
It’s seems very convenient that the “Eversons” narrowly escaped harm. I am very curious to know if they have ever been invoved in any other cow related “accidents”.

Looking in to Cowism would be government money well spent, in my opinion. I am sure that the Patriot Act offers some provision to do so.

Would you be against illegal cow tapping?

8 11 2007
Craig

It’s not too hard to understand why they didn’t see it. The cow accelerates towards the vehicle at a rate of -32 feet per second per second (-9.8 meters per second per second), coming in from 200 feet overhead. I presume the vehicle didn’t have a sunroof or moonroof, so visibility above is limited. Add that to the fact that the attention of the driver and passenger are on the road ahead, not the sky above, it’s not surprising that their first inclination as to what was going on was the cow hitting their vehicle.

Still very odd, nonetheless.

8 11 2007
Mr President

Ahh, but all that presumes it was coming from directly above. The story suggests it hit the bonnet (or hood, if you will) which would mean it was coming from above but slightly ahead, so all jokes aside, they should have seen it falling simply by looking ahead at the road.

Jack, illegal cow tapping sounds like a topic worthy of a blog post of its own.

8 11 2007
Craig

I’ll have to do the math, find the total time it took for the cow to fall, how far the car could have driven going a normal speed, then calculate the angle that the cow was at relative to the car. I bet you it’s a pretty steep angle…

11 02 2008
Double Hex

Not to worry about rioting Indians. Only Indian cows are sacred; British cows are not.

Double Hex

“Parking is such street sorrow” – Roadside Romeo

11 02 2008
Mr President

That’s good news. What about American cows?

12 02 2008
Doouble Hex

“That’s good news. What about American cows?”

Now, that depends. American Indian cows are sacred; Indian American cows are even more so.

Other American cows are not sacred, unless outsourced to India.

12 02 2008
Mr President

I’ve heard that’s becoming quite a common problem, outsourcing of cows to India. Apparently American Newspapers are constantly complaining about damn foreigners taking American cows.

Perhaps someone should find out if this cow was American Indian or Indian American. Someone somewhere is bound to be offended.

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