Put it away. Please, for the love of God, put it away.

12 03 2007

Quite frankly this might be the most disturbing piece of news I read all year. Now I’m not a regular viewer of Nip/Tuck, and although I was completely turned off by the first few episodes of the very first series, so much so that I ceased watching it, I’m not meaning to criticise it as a whole. But are they really trying to turn it into the most repulsive show on television? The programme comes highly recommended by a friend of mine so perhaps I’m jumping the gun, but it’s bad enough that they’ve got one of the world’s most repulsive (and might I say, completely unfunny) women as a regular; Donald Trump’s favourite fattie Rosie O’Donnell.

I quite like The Donald, he’s one of life’s personalities and the world would be a much duller place without people like him. He’s a good businessman and proves that they’re not all dour and boring individuals. Unfortunately in our society it’s become popular to slag off the wealthy, presumably because too many of us are jealous of success, and rather than trying to emulate it, we denegrate it. Whilst I’m no expert on what exactly the Trumpmeister said regarding O’Donnell’s sexuality, and whilst I in no way condone homophobia (some of my best friends are lesbians), by talking about Donald’s sex life O’Donnell opened herself up to that sort of abuse. She may question his right to be a moral compass to 20-year olds but several conservatives would argue that lesbianism is immoral (not me, but the view exists). Ultimately morality is subjective, noone has the right to impose their morality on someone else, whether it’s O’Donnell or the very same conservatives who would have her burned at a stake for her sexuality.

But this isn’t a discussion about that feud. It’s old news and ultimately rather unimportant. Some members of the gay and lesbian community have blown the issue up into something it’s not. It’s symptomatic of the overly politically-correct society we now live in where everything that is ever said or done is scrutinised for the merest possibility that it may cause offence to an entire minority. It’s now no longer possible to insult an individual from a minority without that insult being interpreted as being against the entire group. What I want to discuss is a 48-year old Madonna possibly getting nude on television. I’m not an avid follower of Madonna’s music career (although I did quite like the Ray of Light album) but in the video for one of her more recent singles I do recall she wore a leotard and danced around in quite a suggestive way. Does anyone really want to the see the world’s most famous baby snatcher in various states of undress? And if they do, such sexual preferences ought to be outlawed…

It’s like when Basic Instinct 2 came out, and I saw the infamous scene where she straddles a chair and slides down it suggestively, an homage, no doubt, to the original. A film which came out 15 years ago, yes, that’s right, a decade and a half ago. I appreciate that she’s had some work done recently, and yes, I do agree that she looks great for her age, but that’s just it; she’s of a certain age. Back in 1992 she just simply looked smokingly hot. You didn’t need to add the extra few words for her age. Once a woman gets to the age where you add those three words to the end of the sentence (Stone is actually a smidgen older than Madonna) I really have to question whether she should be showing her snatch in public. Does anyone want to see flapping meat curtains? A droopy minge? Women of a certain age should behave accordingly. It’s not an issue of morality, because as I said earlier, that’s subjective; it’s an issue of taste. Or rather the aftertaste that’s left in my mouth when I puke at seeing a middle aged woman in the buff.

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